What newspaper does Clark Kent work for?

The answer is: The Daily Planet

The Daily Planet's newsroom holds journalism's greatest open secret. Every time Superman saves Metropolis, star reporter Clark Kent misses the story. His excuses range from "checking sources" to "stuck in traffic" to the newsroom favorite "getting coffee" - apparently the longest coffee runs in journalism history. Yet somehow Kent lands every Superman exclusive, a feat that keeps the office rumor mill churning faster than the Planet's rooftop globe.

Perry White, the Planet's editor-in-chief, should have fired Kent years ago for his vanishing acts. Instead, he just bellows "Great Caesar's ghost!" whenever Kent's desk sits empty during breaking news. The betting pool on Kent's next absence has grown so complex it requires its own spreadsheet, maintained meticulously by Jimmy Olsen between camera clicks.

Then there's Lois Lane. Pulitzer-winning investigative reporter. The journalist who exposed countless conspiracies and criminal empires. Yet somehow she spent years not noticing that Superman and her clumsy colleague shared everything except glasses and a cape. The Daily Planet pays her to uncover secrets, but the biggest story sat at the next desk, adjusting his frames and fumbling coffee cups.

Kent's journalism actually holds up beyond the Superman scoops. His Midwest sincerity disarms sources, and his features on corruption and social issues have their own Pulitzer shine. Of course, having super-hearing probably helps with fact-checking, and x-ray vision makes following paper trails suspiciously easy.

The Planet's accounting department has nightmares about Kent's expense reports. Destroyed suits, broken phones, and emergency taxi receipts pile up whenever supervillains attack - which in Metropolis happens about as often as morning coffee runs. But for a newspaper with the world's most powerful stringer on speed dial, some budget flexibility comes with the territory.